Programming Languages



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Now I'm the King of the Spreadsheets,
The Google VIP1.
I've reached the top
And that's what's bothering me.

1Very Irritated Programmer

I'm serving up a website
That I've created in PHP.
Its weird syntax
And crazy hacks
Are more than a match for me.

Oh ooh-be-doo.
I wanna be like you.
I wanna code like you,
Earn some cash like you.
You'll see it's true:
Someone like me
Can learn to code like someone like you.

I want to process log files
That I've downloaded with curl.
With tail and head
And awk or sed
Or I could just stick to Perl.

Now I want to learn some Java
To make a Minecraft Mod.
Inheriting a class
Of bricks and glass
To design an ender-pod.

I've been asked to teach a Code Club
Using python to program a Pi.
With an indent here, an indent there, here an indent, there an indent, everywhere an indent
Sorry, wrong song

I've started designing websites
With Javascript in tow.
It's a bit of a hack,
But I'm using React,
So it's excruciatingly slow.

A friend once told me about lua.
And my heart it's nearly won.
But who imparts
A code which starts
Its arrays with index one?

I read some books on Borland
And now I'm all at C.
I've tried some plus
And sharp's a fuss
I just want some Unity.

I want to parse a website
With a regexp pattern search2.
I've sold my soul3
To achieve my goal
But I can't make the closing tag work.

2I know

3See? I told you I know.

I've written a beautiful document
And TeX's the best by far.
But when I look
For "LaTeX book"
The results are quite bizarre.

Oh Ooo-be-doo.
I think I'm through.
I think I'll leave the code
To geeks and nerds like you.
You see it's true,
Someone like me
Has got no hope of writing apps like you.