Programming Languages

loopspace

2018-09-16

Creative Commons License

Contents

  1. Home

Now I'm the King of the Spreadsheets,
The Google VIP1.
I've reached the top
Of VLOOKUP
And that's what's bothering me.

1Very Irritated Programmer

I'm serving up a website
That I've created in PHP.
Its weird syntax
And crazy hacks
Are more than a match for me.

Oh ooh-be-doo.
I wanna be like you.
I wanna code like you,
Earn some cash like you.
You'll see it's true:
Someone like me
Can learn to code like someone like you.

I want to process log files
That I've downloaded with curl.
With tail and head
And awk or sed
Or I could just stick to Perl.

Now I want to learn some Java
To make a Minecraft Mod.
Inheriting a class
Of bricks and glass
To design an ender-pod.

I've been asked to teach a Code Club
Using python to program a Pi.
With an indent here, an indent there, here an indent, there an indent, everywhere an indent
Sorry, wrong song

I've started designing websites
With Javascript in tow.
It's a bit of a hack,
But I'm using React,
So it's excruciatingly slow.

A friend once told me about lua.
And my heart it's nearly won.
But who imparts
A code which starts
Its arrays with index one?

I read some books on Borland
And now I'm all at C.
I've tried some plus
And sharp's a fuss
I just want some Unity.

I want to parse a website
With a regexp pattern search2.
I've sold my soul3
To achieve my goal
But I can't make the closing tag work.

2I know

3See? I told you I know.

I've written a beautiful document
And TeX's the best by far.
But when I look
For "LaTeX book"
The results are quite bizarre.

Oh Ooo-be-doo.
I think I'm through.
I think I'll leave the code
To geeks and nerds like you.
You see it's true,
Someone like me
Has got no hope of writing apps like you.